译者：
梁军
There are lots of ways to improve your self-confidence over the long-term – but sometimes you need an instant boost. You can't walk into an important work meeting, (or a class at college or a room full of strangers at a party) whilst frantically re-reading a self-help manual, or making a last-minute phone call to your life-coach. So here are ten secrets to boosting your self-confidence in just a few seconds…
在一段长时间内，用来提升自信的方法有许多种——但是，有时候我们却需要一种即时的激励。相信，谁也不能够在匆忙地再次阅读一本自助手册，或者给你的生活导师通完电话之后就能够马上信心十足地投入一个重要的工作会议，或开始大学课程或者参加一个全是素不相识之人的聚会。所以，下面就为大家介绍在数秒钟之内激发自信的10个秘诀......
1. Smile
The one-second tip for when you're feeling nervous and unconfident is simply to smile! You don't just smile because you are happy and confident – you can smile to make yourself feel better. The act of smiling is so strongly associated with positive feelings that it's almost impossible to feel bad while smiling.
Smiling is much more then just a facial expression. The simple act of smiling releases feel-good endorphins, improves circulation to the face, makes you feel good about yourself in general and can definitely increase your self confidence. … you will also appear more confident to others while you're smiling.
秘诀之一: 微笑
在你感到焦虑不安、缺乏信心之时，使你即刻解脱的秘诀是——非常简单——微笑！我们不只在心中充满喜悦和自信的时候才可以微笑——我们也可以用微笑来让自己感觉好一些。微笑这一行为与正面积极的情感如此紧密地联系在一起,所以当你微笑时，你感觉沮丧的几率微乎其微。
微笑绝不仅仅只是一种普通的面部表情。微笑，这一简单的面部表情，可以释放使人感到不错的内啡肽，可以增强面部血液循环，可以让你感觉自己全身顺畅，当然也就能够提升你的自信......所以，当你微笑的时候，在别人眼里你就会更显得自信。
2. Make eye contact
As well as smiling, meet the eyes of other people in the room. Give them your smile; you'll almost certainly get one back, and being smiled at is a great self-confidence boost. Like smiling, eye contact shows people that you're confident. Staring at your shoes or at the table reinforces your feelings of self-doubt and shyness. This tip is particularly useful for work-related situations – make eye contact with interviewers, or with the audience for your presentation:
Eye contact helps take the fear away from the speaker by getting the audience closer to him. Stress is mainly a result of being with the unknown and uncontrollable. Eye contact gives the speaker a picture of the reality that is the audience. It also helps in getting the attention of the audience.
秘诀之二: 保持目光接触
像保持微笑一样，你还需要保持与房间内的其他人都有目光接触。先对他人微笑，几乎总会有人回应你的微笑，这样的回应就会激励你的自信。微笑与目光接触一样，都表明你是个自信的人。相反，一味地盯着自己的鞋子或桌子则会让你显得更加缺少自信甚至害羞。这一条秘诀在工作相关的场合相当实用——求职者要与面试官保持目光接触，产品推介者则要与你的受众保持目光接触。
保持目光接触可以拉近听众与演讲者之间的距离，从而使他们摆脱紧张的气氛。而紧张则往往是由于演讲者面对素不相识的人或无法掌控的形势而产生的。目光的接触则可以为演讲者提供受众的真实面貌——对方只是听众而已。同时,目光的接触还有益于吸引观众的注意力。
3. Change your inner voice
Most of us have a critical inner voice that tells us we're stupid, not good enough, that we're too fat, thin, loud, quiet… Being able to change that inner voice is key to feeling self-confident on the inside, which will help you project your confidence to the world. Make your inner voice a supportive friend who knows you fully but also recognizes your talents and gifts, and wants you to make the best of yourself.
You still want to be able to hear the message, so don't make it so chilled and laid back that you never take any notice of it. You can even choose 2, 3 or as many voices as you want for different occasions. Your voice should always support you, always be helpful, never aggressive and it never puts you down.
秘诀之三: 改变你心中发出的声音
大多数人的内心都有这样一种声音，那个声音告诉我们:我们太蠢了、不够优秀、我们太胖了、太瘦了、声音太大了、声音太小了......改变我们心中的声音才是使自己从内心感到自信起来的关键，这也同样有助于我们向世人展示自己的自信。要学会控制自己心中的声音，使其成为完全了解自己并同时认可你自己的才能及天赋的一个朋友，这个朋友希望你达到自己的最佳状态。
当然，这样的声音你也必须要听进去，随之产生反应。所以，不要使其过于麻木或消极，对此置若罔闻。你甚至可以根据不同的场合，选择两三句甚至更多的发自内心话语。但是这些声音都必须乐观积极、于你有益，永远不会使你过度自信，也不会使你灰心丧气。
4. Forget other people's standards
Whatever the situation that's causing you a crisis of self-confidence, you can help yourself immeasurably by holding yourself to your own standards alone. Other people have different values from you, and however hard you try, you'll never please everyone all of the time. Don't worry that people will think you're too overweight, underweight, too feckless, too boring, too frugal, too frivolous … hold yourself to your standards, not some imagined standards belonging to others. And remember that commonly-held values and standards vary from society to society: you don't have to accept them just because the people around you do.
People's values define what they want personally, but morals define what the society around those people want for them. Certain behaviors are considered to be desirable by a given society, while others are considered to be undesirable. For the most part, however, morals are not written in stone, or proclaimed by God above, but instead reflect local sensibilities. Different societies have different ideas about what is acceptable and not acceptable.
秘诀之四: 抛开他人价值认定标准
不管是什么情况所导致的自信危机，你都可以进行最大限度的自我调节，方法是——坚持自己所认定的价值标准。人与人的价值观是不同的，不管我们怎么努力，都不可能永久取悦身边的每个人。对于他人的想法，诸如——别人会认为我们过于胖了、过于瘦了、太软弱了、太没趣了、太节俭了、太轻佻了等等，你根本不必太在意，坚持自己所认定的价值标准，而不是想象之中他人所认定的价值标准。而且，务必谨记，大众所认为的价值观和标准会随着社会的改变而改变:我们完全没有必要因为自身周围公众所作所为而被迫接受他们的价值标准。
人们的价值观清楚地说明了他们自己想要些什么，而道德标准则清楚地说明了这些人所组成的社会想要些什么。某些行为是能够被一个特定社会所接受的，而某些行为则不被接受。然而，从很大程度上来说，道德标准不是铭刻于石头上面的，也不是拜上帝所赐，而是当地民情的反映。不同的社会对所可以接受的行为所持的观点也不同。
5. Make the most of your appearance
Even if you've only got a minute or two, duck into the bathroom to make sure you're looking your best. Brushing your hair, giving your face a good wash, retouching your makeup, straightening your collar, checking you've not got a bit of parsley stuck between your teeth … all of these can make the difference between feeling confident in your physical appearance and feeling anxious about an imagined flaw.
Perfect your physical appearance: There's no denying that one's grooming plays a crucial role in building confidence. Although we know what's on the inside is what truly counts, your physical appearance will be the first to create an impression.
秘诀之五: 呈现你最好的仪表
哪怕只有一两分钟的剩余时间，也要冲进盥洗室里进行梳妆，以确保自己仪表最佳。梳梳头、洗洗脸、补补妆、拉拉衣领，检查一下是否有香芹残存在自己的牙缝中......这些简单动作都将消除你对猜想的不足之处的忧虑，而使自己在衣着容貌上看起来更加自信。
改进你的仪态仪表:毫无疑问，衣着打扮在建立自信的过程中起着决定性作用。尽管人人都知道，内在美才是最重要的，但也无可否认，外在衣着打扮是给人留下深刻印象的第一要素。
6. Pray or meditate briefly
If you believe in a higher power, whether God, or another spiritual force, it can be a real boost to self-confidence to say a silent prayer. (You could also meditate instead of praying.) This helps you to take a step back from your immediate situation, to see the wider picture and to seek help from something or someone greater than yourself. This is a Christian prayer, but you could write something similar that fits your own religious beliefs or spiritual tradition:
Dear God, thank you that you love and accept me as I am … please help me to do the same … and help me to grow to become the person you want me to be so that my God-confidence and self-confidence will increase greatly—all for the glory of your name and not mine. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen.
秘诀之六: 作短暂的祈祷或沉思
如果你信仰神灵，不论是上帝，或是其他精神力量，那么，默默地作祈祷就可以成为激励自信的一种有效手段。（你也可以用沉思来代替默默祈祷。）这将使我们暂时退出当前所处的环境，看得更高更远，并向那些比我们自身伟大的神灵寻求帮助。下面是一个基督教徒的祈祷词，我们可以参考并写出类似的适合你自己宗教信念或精神指引的祷告:
亲爱的上帝，感谢你对我的爱和包容......请帮助我，使我爱您并且投入您的怀抱......请帮助我，让我成为您所期望的那个人，使我大大提升对您的信仰及我的自信——一切荣耀均属于您的名下，我不会叨光。感谢您的聆听，感谢您回应我的祈祷。希望这个祈祷能实现。
7. Reframe
If something unexpected happens, it's easy to let it knock your fledgling self-confidence. Perhaps you spill your drink on someone, you arrive late for the big meeting because of traffic problems, or someone who you wanted to speak to gives you a cold brush-off. Try to "reframe" the situation; put it in the best possible light: often, events are only negative because of the meaning we attach to them.
秘诀之七: 换个角度看问题
如果有意外发生，往往很容易就能将你刚刚建立的少许自信击碎。你可能不小心将饮料溅到别人身上，你可能由于交通堵塞而导致在重要会议上迟到，或者你想要与之交谈的某人冷漠地敷衍你等等。试着"换个角度"看问题；往最好的一面去想: 通常，事物之所以具有负面意义完全是由于我们把自己的主观思想强加在上面。
8. Find the next step
Keep your self-confidence up by taking gradual steps forwards, rather than freezing when faced with what seems like a giant leap. If you're not sure what to do, look for one simple step that you can take to make progress. That might mean making eye contact at a party, introducing yourself to a stranger, breaking the ice in a meeting, or asking a question of your interviewers that shows your knowledge of their industry and company.
Start taking action even if you don't have a clear idea of what needs to be done. Start moving towards your goal. Make corrections later.
秘诀之八:步步为营
通过步步为营的方式来增强自信，要远胜于面对巨大鸿沟而停滞不前。如果你所处的情况让你不知何去何从，不妨从简单地一步步做起。这就可能意味着是，在聚会上与别人做目光接触、把自己介绍给一个陌生人、打破会议僵局，或者是问面试官一个问题，表明你了解他们所处的行业及公司。
在还不清楚究竟需要做些什么时，就开始展开行动，开始朝着自己的目标前进，即使犯了错，迟些更正也不晚。
9. Speak slowly
An easy tip for both seeming and being more self-confidence is to speak slowly. If you gabble, you'll end up feeling worse as you know you're being unclear to your audience or to the person you're in a conversation with. Speaking slowly gives you the chance to think about what you're going to say next. If you're giving a talk or presentation, pause at the end of phrases and sentences to help your audience take in what you've said.
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn't worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn't want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to.
秘诀之九: 放慢说话的速度
看起来显得比较自信或者成为一个更加自信的人，一个简单的秘诀就是放慢语速。如果总是喋喋不休说个不停，那么你的听众或与你交谈的人就会觉得你想表达的意思让人搞不清楚。放慢语速，你就有机会思考接下来要说的内容。如果你正在发言或做推介，那么就请在短语或句子结束之后稍作停顿，让听众有时间对你所讲的内容进行消化理解。
权威人士以及代表权威部门发言的人，往往语速比较慢。这说明他们很自信。一个觉得自己所讲的话不值得听的人，往往说话犹如放机关枪一般快，因为他不想让人们为不重要的讲话浪费时间。
10. Contribute something
Have you ever sat through an entire class at college or meeting at work without saying a word? Have you had an evening out where friends chatted happily while you sat and stared silently at your drink? Chances are, you weren't feeling very self-confident at the time – and you probably felt even worse afterwards. Whatever the situation you're in, make an effort to contribute. Even if you don't think you have much to say, your thoughts and perspective are valuable to those around you.
By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you'll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
秘诀之十: 积极主动开口
你是否曾经在一节大学课堂或者一次工作会议上干坐着一言不发?你是否曾经在朋友们高兴地在晚上聚会谈论时独自盯着自己的饮料发呆?在这种时刻，相信你不会感觉对自己非常自信——甚至事后，你大概会感觉更糟。不管你现在处于哪种状态，试着主动与人交流吧。即使你觉得自己无话可说，但是，也许说出你的观点与看法，会使你周围的人获益匪浅呢。
每次小组讨论之时，如果至少有一次，你能够大声表达自己的观点，那么你就会在公开场合作更多的发言，你对自己的想法也会更有自信，同时也会被你的同伴认为为一个领袖。
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